Humor

Farmer Tricks Tourists With Tartan Sheep

We raise chickens (my mom says that makes me a chicken tender!) and I have met people who actually think that chickens only lay white eggs, and that our multi-colored eggs are weird. I've also met people who thought that chocolate milk came from brown cows (okay, those people are mostly children) but it turns out that many people are even gullible about sheep.

Hipster Animals

Illustrator furthers adorable meme

I love me some Hipster Kitty. Something about attributing the abominable habits of our culture's worst youth demographic to an adorable kitten just tickles my fancy. Look! He has holes in his purple hoodie for his ears! It almost makes the destructive overconsumption of our time seem okay.

Lucky for me, one Dyna Moe is out to give the whole animal kingdom the hipster treatment. Her colorful vector illustrations put all sorts of anthropomorphic animals in ridiculous clothes and party situations. If you ever wanted to see a red panda shotgun two PBRs, she's got you covered.

Bacon Cologne? Something Only A Swine Would Wear?

A Subtle Gift for The Boss?

Bacon Cologne? A company has introduced a bacon cologne and it is selling. And it is not being used by farmers to improve the scent of their hog pens, with a little floral a-do-o for their pigs. It is for human use, to be sprayed on men.

Bacon Cologne? I don't believe it? What's going to come of us? Cologne from bacon scent? Heaven help us. When is the world suppose to end? What's that date again? Sometime next year?

Well, maybe I am too much in the 20th century? Bacon is pork and pork makes me sick. My objection to bacon is not based on religion, but on health issues. Bacon is fatty. Bacon is full of the stuff that is not good for the body. Bacon increases high blood pressure. Bacon is not a good food But as a cologne scent? It stinks

The Benefits of Squat Toilets

The first time I saw and had the opportunity to pee into a squat toilet, I wasn't exactly thrilled by the possiblity of pee splattering on my thighs, and the design of the urinal-like toilet sitting directly on ground offended my western sensibilities. Of course, as I got accustomed to squatting, I started to see the benefits in both my thigh muscles and in the total time it took me to "drop my kids off at the swimming pool" whenever the need arose. Now, researchers are claiming that squatter toilets have health benefits as well.

As this writer so eloquently states:

Fish Pedicure?!

My provincialism is probably showing, but -- and BUT, and BUT, and BUT! I know that is a lot of buts. But, I would be kicked in the butt before I would let fish "pedicure" my feet. I saw this CBS NEWS video and I said -- Say What?!

CBS reports -- "Sole Sensation is one of a handful of fish pedicure shops to open in Britain. Customers immerse their feet in a tank of tiny Garra rufa fish which happily feast on any dead skin they can find." See the video.

My take on this is this -- Put my feet in a tank of fish?.Trust the fish to clean my feet of dead skin? I hear Steven King somewhere laughing.-- or is the voice I hear that of Wes Craven?

So what if "fish pedicure" is a time tested method? I don't trust the government, do you think I am going to trust some fish?

Space Animals - Real and Ficticious

I was reading this lovely story on the Newsweek website about animals that have been in space (Animals in Orbit) and it got me thinking about all of the furry little friends that have blasted off into the great unknown - including, of course, Sigourney Weaver. I don't mean to say that she is some sort of freakish, big toothed animal, but... she is a freakish big toothed animal (for the film Alien at least... oh she wasn't the alien? Whatever, I stand by it).

Sarah Palin Doesn’t Speak for All Mama Grizzlies

Recently, Sarah Palin used her common tactic of simple metaphors mixed with animals and third grade vocabulary words to highlight her presence and that of her soccer mom followers, whom she now refers to as “mama grizzlies.” She says that when their cubs are threatened, mama grizzlies attack—which, I think, is a valid point. Unlike many of the other strange things she’s tried to claim as fact, this is true; if you mess with the cub, you mess with the mama.

However, if translating said metaphor toward a more developed species—in this case, humans—it doesn’t work the same way. If a mama bear’s cubs become human boys and girls, bringing out the claws and teeth get trickier.

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