Cows Committing Suicide

Cows Committing Suicide

Now why does this sound familiar? Oh yeah. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, must be prophets. (Now that’s a scary thought!)

Apparently dozens of cows are leaping to their deaths in the Swiss village of Lauterbrunnen, near the Alps. In only three days, 28 cows have effectively killed themselves. You can see the disturbing photos of the mass suicide here.

These are mountain-grown cows, folks. They don’t just slip—“Oh! Oh! I’m falling down the mountain!”—to plunge tot their deaths out of nowhere. They’re used to the mountains and know the dangers of being near a cliff.

And even if that were the case, would 27 more cows follow suit? That would be pretty stupid.

Do you think it’s possible that one cow simply jumped and the rest followed suit, unassuming and bored, believing they would land or something?

I don’t think so; aren’t cows supposed to be moderately intelligent, for the most part—especially free range ones like these, who don’t suffer the mental distress of a factory farm?

Some actually say that could be the case; that when this type of thing has happened, when cows are packed together in a group they simply don’t see the cliff their friends just went over as they graze on.

I just don’t think that I can buy that. Surely there’d be some cow screaming involved or something?

The fact that this is really happening—not in a cartoon, but for real—has me sort of spooked. What do these cows know that we don’t? It sounds like something out of one of the new Armageddon movies we’ve got coming at us in droves these days.

Could we, in fact, be approaching the end of the world? Or did these cows just join a cult and decide to do something a little more creative than drink purple kool-aid? That’s a little far-fetched, seeing as scientists think that animals—other than people—are not capable of committing suicide.

Or maybe it’s the “visitors” they speak of in South Park…

Some speculate that the violent thunderstorms in the area may have spooked the cows into running off the cliff, but would that really span for three days? Wouldn’t they just start grazing somewhere else rather than near the cliff after a couple of their buddies ended up dead at the bottom?

While cows have been known to accidentally fall before, the occurrence doesn’t usually include a couple dozen cows.

Each cow’s body has had to be removed by a helicopter to avoid groundwater contamination. According to the Swiss police, no carnivores large enough to eat a cow live in the mountains, so the bodies would have just rotted there if they had not been removed.